Stick Figure Sketchblog & Webcomics @ Stewped.com

As you may know, I once spent a horrible period of my life working retail. If you’ve ever gone shopping and were treated poorly by the employees, I can tell you why that happened. There are only 2(two) reasons why. Either a) the employee is just a jerk or b) you are a jerk. Although, given enough time, enough of b) happens that most employees become a).

Here’s an example. I have in my well-manicured hands a letter that I borrowed from work. Take a peek. I’ll wait.

Did you count those grammar and spelling errors? Go back if you didn’t. I’m no English teacher, but I can spell retarded, and it starts with Customer.

When little (needs stretchy pants “little”) Jim came into the store, I had been there for about 7 months. In that time, I had never heard of 2-Pocket shirts because my store had never had them while I was employed there. According to the boss, she hadn’t had them in for at least 2 years prior. Now, I wasn’t at work the day this man came in, but I wish I was. Oh to see him attempt to make the little Assistant Manager(who actually is very tiny) manifest these shirts out of thin air with just the power of his undoubtedly fat, angry mouth.

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Some photoshopping for you!

Of the many reasons that I haven’t drawn anything for a while is this dog. It’s constantly being cute and I just can’t resist her mind control. She’s a pure-bred Pomeranian named Monstro.

I see only two people have picked new positions for the political posistions, so I have decided to do this one at a time. We will start with the president, i will check back here in one week, and if enough people have picked one we will keep this going, if not then you people can just keep coming back with there never being a new comic posted like always, and you will shut your computers of in disappointment and go to bed unfulfilled, at least this gives you something to look forward to between comics.

President: The presidents job is to oversee their cabinet. They are also the commander and cheif of the entire armed forces of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I think Ghandi would fit the bill nicely, I mean who dosen’t like Ghandi. Evil jerks that’s who.

There is a reprint of my choice.

Going to vegas for the weekend.

I have decided to replace the president. vice president, the cabinet, speaker of the house and the supreme court justices. not because they are doing a bad job per say, but because I don’t think there has ever been one that everyone has been happy with. The following list is my suggestions, but you should submit your own if you can come up with someone better, under the comments section. If I like your choice better, I will replace mine. It will be like a contest except with no prizes. O.k. so here we go. No rules anyone alive or dead, or hell even fictional works here.

President: The presidents job is to oversee their cabinet. They are also the commander and cheif of the entire armed forces of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I think Ghandi would fit the bill nicely, I mean who dosen’t like Ghandi. Evil jerks that’s who.

Vice President: The vice president is in charge of all vices, also they get to cast the tie breaking vote in the senate, if that ever happens. To make all the evil jerks happy we are gonna have to get some one evil, so I’m gonna go with Frank, the scary giant rabbit from Donnie Darko.

Secretary of State: Deals with foreign affairs, so we are gonna get a foreigner for this one. My choice is John Cleese, his british and from Monty Python.

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So I was at work yesterday (Subway for those of you who don’t know), and I think every fat woman in town came in. It disgusted me so much it made me not want to eat for weeks, but about an hour later i got hungry and did anyway. My point is if these hairless wookies would actually order the sandwich’s that are good for you, then I would have been fine with taking their money, but when the mass of fat orders a footlong double meat pastrami with bacon and then half a bottle of mayonaise they deserve to be hit. That’s a pound of meat. I should go find Jared and see if he will come to my store and beat them with week old bread til they order a veggie sandwich, then a little longer just for fun.

Here is the winner! Evan Sheehan of Some Hippy Town, USA. I laughed so hard at the first line. And then I laughed even harder when Stew just ignores what the girl says and assumes she’s an orphan. That is my favorite part. And the fact that she even goes along with him without fighting? She deserves to die!
Evan wins the coveted line-art with his terribly mean entry. Enjoy! I had loads of fun lettering the entries. All 4 of them.

My wife just found this picture of me at our wedding. It has been almost a year and we still haven’t made our photo scrap book, ha! Anyway, I’m not sure what I was saying here, but some lucky photo-grapher captured me as if I were Jerry Seinfeld. I thought it was funny enough to share with you all.

And congrats to nate for just getting married!

I’m not dead. I’m drawing right now. I have been busy fighting the undead and feeding the homeless to the hungry. Also, in regards to a drawing of a cow I have been requested to draw, I have been out looking at them so as to draw it better. Page 2 of the Gatorchuting comic is in progress.

It is nice to feel wanted and loved, if only for my comicals.