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Archive for January, 2007

The customer is always wrong

January 19th, 2007 by

As you may know, I once spent a horrible period of my life working retail. If you’ve ever gone shopping and were treated poorly by the employees, I can tell you why that happened. There are only 2(two) reasons why. Either a) the employee is just a jerk or b) you are a jerk. Although, given enough time, enough of b) happens that most employees become a).

Here’s an example. I have in my well-manicured hands a letter that I borrowed from work. Take a peek. I’ll wait.

customer's letter

Did you count those grammar and spelling errors? Go back if you didn’t. I’m no English teacher, but I can spell retarded, and it starts with Customer.

When little (needs stretchy pants “little”) Jim came into the store, I had been there for about 7 months. In that time, I had never heard of 2-Pocket shirts because my store had never had them while I was employed there. According to the boss, she hadn’t had them in for at least 2 years prior. Now, I wasn’t at work the day this man came in, but I wish I was. Oh to see him attempt to make the little Assistant Manager(who actually is very tiny) manifest these shirts out of thin air with just the power of his undoubtedly fat, angry mouth.


Public Service Announcement

January 18th, 2007 by

As I was looking through my notes on comic ideas and such, I found the following.

don't eat guns

Did you enjoy it?  I believe I drew it in 12th grade.  Maybe the 11th.  I saved it just for you.  It’s crumpled up, on college-ruled lined paper and it has something to do with Mussorgsky on it.  Why? Who knows?  I could have been in Russian history class!  I may have drawn it my first year of college because I had a Russian history class there too.  The back of the paper says “Marius Petipa *missing* school of ballet.”  And below that: Last symphony Pathetique – full of force and feeling.  I believe that says “awesomeness” above the guy in going “chomp!” but i could be wrong.  It had to be high school, but i don’t remember writing my lowercase ‘A’s in that way.  And i do remember having it ripped my first year at RMCAD because it was in my pocket and i showed it to a couple of people.  “Why am i here? Lemme show you my credentials.” and i’d whip that slip out and everyone would nod and say “ah yes” and “quite” and such.  Frankly, I don’t know why they didn’t give me my degree that day.