September 13th, 2006 by Jon
I have decided to replace the president. vice president, the cabinet, speaker of the house and the supreme court justices. not because they are doing a bad job per say, but because I don’t think there has ever been one that everyone has been happy with. The following list is my suggestions, but you should submit your own if you can come up with someone better, under the comments section. If I like your choice better, I will replace mine. It will be like a contest except with no prizes. O.k. so here we go. No rules anyone alive or dead, or hell even fictional works here.
President: The presidents job is to oversee their cabinet. They are also the commander and cheif of the entire armed forces of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I think Ghandi would fit the bill nicely, I mean who dosen’t like Ghandi. Evil jerks that’s who.
Vice President: The vice president is in charge of all vices, also they get to cast the tie breaking vote in the senate, if that ever happens. To make all the evil jerks happy we are gonna have to get some one evil, so I’m gonna go with Frank, the scary giant rabbit from Donnie Darko.
Secretary of State: Deals with foreign affairs, so we are gonna get a foreigner for this one. My choice is John Cleese, his british and from Monty Python.
Secretary of the Treasury: concerned with finance and monetary matters. Mr. Moneybags, you know the old guy who on the monolpoly board, we will have to teach him the difference between real money and monopoly money though.
Secretary of Defense:concerned with the armed services and military matters. General Patton, either the real one or George C. Scott whichever will work for cheaper.
Attorny General: concerned with legal affairs and is the chief law enforcement officer of the United States Goverment. Robocop.
Secretary of the Interior: The Department of the Interior oversees such agencies as the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the United States Geological Survey, and the National Park Service. I had orginally picked Martha Stewart because I thought Interior meant Interior Decorating… So someone better come up with someone better.
Secretary of Agriculture: concerned with land and food as well as agriculture and rural development. Mr. Peanut, he can communicate with other plants and translate for us humans, we can learn what they want to make them grow better.
Secretary of Commerce: concerned with business and industry. Whom ever invented Pet Rocks. If he can sell those he can sell anything.
Secretary of Labor: Decides on decisions for the department and enforces and creates laws involving unions, the workplace and all other issues involving any from of bussiness-person contraversies. Dr. Phil McGraw, I don’t really like this guy but he is good at telling others what they should do, without doing anything himself or knowing what he’s talking about. He’s like a super boss.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Devlopment: Concerned with urban housing matters. Chris Rock, will design some killa’ cribs, and devlope some bitchin’ hoods.
Secretary of Transportation: Concerned with transport. Optimus Prime, he is both a person (kind of) and a transportation vehicle. Plus he would get us the robot vote. Robocop used to be human so most robots resent him.
Secretary of Energy: Is concerned with energy production and regulation. Magneto, if he can alter the electro-magnetic field of the earth, he can produce infinite energy, for mere dollars a day, what ever it takes to keep him well fed.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: concerned with health matters. Richard Simmons, that man is so over-exuberant about people loosing weight, if we put him on t.v. everyday he will shame people into being healthy.
Secretary of Education: Concerned with education. Dr. Stephen Hawkings, the most brilliant man ever. Plus he has a robo-voice.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: the department concerned with veterans’ benefits and related matters. Senator John McCain, he is a veteran plus a POW, also he is republican and I like him. That takes talent.
Secretary of Homeland Security: The body concerned with protecting the American homeland and the safety of American citizens. Chuck Norris, have you seen that list of Chuck Norris facts? He will kill any who fuck with us, all by himself.
Speaker of the House: The presiding officer of the lower house of Congress, the House of Represenitives. Socrates, philosopher, plus he used to talk with his mouth full of pebbles over the sound of the ocean, just to practice his oratory skills (at least I think that who did that, if not I change my choice to the pebble guy).
President Pro Tempe: The guy who takes the vice presidents place if he can’t be at a senate meeting. So I’m going with Harvey the six foot tall, pink, invisible rabbit that only Jimmy Stewart could see in the movie Harvey.
The Supreme Court Justices:Highest Judical body in the United States and leads the judical branch of the United States Federal Goverment. All Justices will be from Star Trek,at least mine will yours can be whom ever you want. Chief Justice: “Q”. The rest are: Spock, Worf, Quark, Odo, Lwaxana Troi, Neelix, Seven of Nine, and Jadzia Dax. There all aliens because this way they can seperate themselves from the human condition, I know Spock is half-human, but the other half is Vulcan, and That Seven-of-Nine is now human, but we need one smoking Judge going to jail for life wouldn’t be as bad if she told you.
So there you go that who we are looking forward to, send me you choices, you don’t have to do the whole list. After i get enough I will post the results.